Tantra – Bodywork to Assist Sexual Healing

Through the gentle art of touch, massage, relaxation and breathing techniques, we will explore your sexuality and intimate life together in a safe and calm space which is open to people of any race, gender and sexual orientation.

Some call what I do Tantra, others call it sexological bodywork or sexual healing massage. The list of names goes on, along with fancy wording and spiritual jargon. Honestly, I prefer to do away with all of that and simply commit to walking beside you as you explore issues such as fear of intimacy or touch, loss of sexual sensation, lack of sexual confidence, premature ejaculation, stress related erectile dysfunction, trouble reaching orgasm, vaginismus, and pelvic floor issues. I use various techniques including tantric touch and tantric principles, massage, rebalancing and myofascial release. It is important to note, however, that sessions with me should never be used to replace any medical treatment, or therapy with a qualified psychologist or counsellor.

Many people understand the work that I do as Tantra. I, however, feel quite strongly that I do not offer Tantra and do not call myself a tantrika, dakini, or any such title. Perhaps clearer explanation will help dispel some common misunderstandings. Tantra is widely misunderstood as a miraculous sexual practice that will lead to multiple orgasms, hours of continuous orgasm, bliss and ecstasy etc, etc. To be perfectly honest, that’s exactly what I thought when I braved my way onto a tantric practitioner’s training course about two years ago. I had been keenly interested in human sexuality for some time and was looking for a way of supporting people who were struggling with the sexual issues that were affecting their quality of life and their relationships. As a matter of fact, I was very definitely amongst those who wanted and needed help, having had a number of issues with loss of sexual sensation, mild vaginismus, and tremendous trouble with reaching orgasm, along with ever declining sexual intimacy in my relationships as life rolled on and “everydayness” took over. It was actually the misunderstanding of the word Tantra which led me to my current practice. I have since been corrected and sometimes even been bombarded with the insistence that Tantra is not what most of us understand it to be. There is the beautiful spiritual path of Tantra which is about so much more than sex. It is, unlike most other spiritual paths, welcoming and affirming of sexuality and the body, but it is not what is referred to in the headlines regarding the sex lives of certain celebrities for example. Apparently, all the juicy stuff is referred to as neo tantra, and it was in that, conscious sexuality practice, and good ol’ psychotherapy that I found and continue to find my healing and growth.

So, if you’re bursting to know whether the multiple orgasms and extended orgasms truly do exist, let me set your mind at ease (or on fire) – YES! They most certainly do. As with everything, it takes some work – fun work, exciting work, giggles, tears, frustration, leaps of joy – but work for most of us. It takes some focused time in which you work only on your sexuality, it takes commitment to clearing up your emotional debris, and it means working on some physical restrictions in the body, but claiming your sexuality back or for the first time is very possible. It is my heart’s desire that each person be truly fulfilled in their sexuality and intimate lives, and so I continue to practice and expand my knowledge of neo tantra, conscious sexuality and bodywork. I learn with each person who enters into session with me. Often that means tossing some of the book knowledge to the side line and working with what is applicable in the moment. I have had many a laugh with clients, many a tear, and have even had the odd client who has thrown their payment at me as if to a prostitute – so let’s clear that one up… I do not offer my work as a form of prostitution, sensual massage, or happy ending massage.

For those who sincerely want support, it would be an honour to be part of your wonderfully unique journey!



by Roberta G Strydom

Reconnecting With Your Sexual Desire

HOW CAN I GET MY SEXUAL DESIRE BACK?

This is an extremely common question. Just because you have lost interest in sex, this does not mean that you are a sexual failure and no longer worthy of seeing yourself or being seen as a sexual being, although it may feel that way to you. Your desire and sexuality are still a part of you even if you can’t/don’t want to express them at the moment. Below are some of the reasons people lose their desire and some suggestions as to how to awaken your desire and welcome it back into your life. Needless to say the solutions are far easier to implement and change is more likely to be sustained when working with a coach!

Are you having sex to please your sexual partner? If you find it hard to day NO to someone and find that you have sex only when someone else suggests it, it is not surprising that you have lost touch with your own sexuality. I have worked with a number of clients who rarely experienced desire because they had got into a habit of responding to other people’s desire rather than acknowledging their own. If you cannot say NO, each YES means very little and your desire will diminish.

Solutions: work on identifying your sexual style and preferences, your peak sexual experiences, what makes it hard for you to be the one who initiates sex, dealing with rejection, becoming more assertive, relate your sexual hesitancy to other areas of your life, communication skills.

Do you find that you feel desire for other people but are no longer attracted to your partner? Sometimes I work with people who have totally gone off the idea of sex. Sometimes I work with people who are turned off from sex with their partner whilst they are nursing and cultivating intense desire for someone else. In this situation, the primary relationship will undoubtedly suffer as your focus will be on your desire being thwarted and resentment and anger are likely consequences.

Solutions: ask yourself what is it about this new person that so excites you? What will you get with them that you do not have with your current partner? What were things like at the beginning with your current partner? This situation is more about finding creative solutions to make our current relationship more interesting and how to stop taking your partner for granted. A new relationship is not going to solve this type of loss of desire scenario. It merely suspends it for a while. Try looking at what could be changed and improved in your relationship and take responsibility for making that happen.

Have you been single for so long that you can’t remember what desire feels like? I bet you can – if you want to. It is easy to get used to any routine, however dissatisfying and spending a long time as a single person can feel too safe. Dating feels scary and makes you feel vulnerable.When I am working with single people, I hear the same kinds of problems cropping up. Feeling that you are not sexy if you aren’t having sex, wondering why you never meet the ‘right’ sort of person, complaining about there being no good men/women out there, how to merge your single self with the life of another person. Solutions:Become the person you want to attract, work on making your life as great as it can be without a partner. confidence and self-esteem building, getting in touch with your passion and purpose, identifying patterns from previous relationships, what was good in the past that you want with a new partner, what are the people/situations that you do not want in your life, masturbate and become a more sexual person. You need to know that you do not need a partner in order to be the best kind of partner.

How do you feel about the sex that you do have with a partner? Are you getting the sexual stimulation that you need? I have worked with couples who see loss of desire as a problem that belongs to one of them, whilst the other one is an innocent victim of an unfortunate sexual drought.This premise is swiftly explored and both parties begin to recognise that sexual issues involve both partners and that apportioning blame is counterproductive and unhelpful.

Solutions : work on sharing sexual fantasies, communication, exploration (trying new things), sexual games. Perhaps the most important exercise in this situation is enabling both parties to sit down and talk about what most turns them on – do they want more foreplay, different type (less/more rough) of stimulation. Does the sex end too soon? This is not a problem when sex only ends when both are fulfilled (and that may or may not involve orgasm)

How would you describe your relationship? It will not surprise you to know that sex is one of the first things to lose its appeal when a relationship is in difficulties. This is not necessarily a cause and effect situation as many factors contribute to relationship breakdown.

Solutions – look at your environment. What is going on in your life to make it hard to prioritise sex and connection with your partner? Usually it is necessary to make a detailed inventory of contributory factors and then work through each finding ways to make changes. Often childcare, finances, trust, conflict (each needing to be right) and fatigue interfere with contentment. How you think your partner treats you and what you can do to make this better. Look to yourself : are you seeing yourself as the mistreated victim? This will help no-one so get in touch with your personal inner power. Look at the emotions that you are partner create and explore ways of creating a bigger and better emotional connection between you.

How do you feel about yourself? The one person you have control over when trying to make changes is yourself. Often problems develop in relationships when we blame the other person for our own unhappiness.Solutions – Find your passion and purpose. Work on self-esteem, confidence and body image. When was the last time you thought about what success means to you? Where is your life going and how do you feel about that? Do you have direction, purpose and optimism for the future? If you feel small, scared, unsuccessful, unattractive how can you be in touch with sexual joy?

Maybe some of the solutions seem out of reach? This is because you may not know that you already know how to change your life. Coaching will help you to work through your own unique constellation of anxieties, sadness, blame, anger and fears. A coach enables you to find your powerful, calm centre where you are at peace with yourself and your sexuality. When you lose desire, I have found that there is more at stake here than sexual boredom. Boredom is something that can be addressed with tips and technique. Loss of desire is something else and a sign that you need to look to yourself, your partner and the rest of your life for answers.



by Tara Few

Neurobiology of Human Sexuality

Human sexuality is a subject that has been taboo for many centuries. The orgasm, for example, is just one aspect of sexuality that has been overlooked. In particular, the female orgasm is an important function to discuss because it’s a topic that has been socially steeped in silence and shame, and is directly connected to female health on the whole. Very few people are willing to admit, that orgasms in fact help a woman physically and psychologically in many ways (i.e. easing menstrual cramps to alleviate stress).

One mystery regarding the female orgasm is why some women “fake” orgasms during sexual activity. One thing that is for sure, is that while the male orgasm is reached quicker, the female orgasm can result in prolonged pleasure.

Why is it that numerous women have difficulty experiencing an orgasm and why do men climax so fast? Fascinatingly enough, the large majority of women will confess that their lovers do not give them orgasm. Instead, they allow themselves to have orgasms. Not just that, but they can have a variety of different types of orgasms concurrently. (i.e. clitoral orgasms, G-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms, blended orgasms, etc). Men will comment for example, that the scent of a woman is what drives them crazy during sexual activity and makes them unable to maintain the sensation for long. So do women have more control over physical pleasure in the brain than men? Just how do sexual problems happen in the brain?

There is a combination of things that come in effect when it comes to an orgasm in the brain. Neurotransmitters, and neuro-peptides for example, are greatly involved in the sexual response. To achieve an orgasm, the central nervous system transmits orders to the heart, so that it pumps faster, delivering blood to oxygenate the increase of blood flow in muscle tissues involved in sexual activity.

Nitric oxide, serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, and norepinephrine, are just some of the neurotransmitters and neuro-peptides involved in sexual activity. Nitric oxide (NO) plays a critical role in both male and female sexuality. In penile erections, NO induces the release of guanylate cyclase, which, in turn, converts GTP to cGMP and produces relaxation of smooth muscles and increased blood flow into the penis.

This information is used in the popular drug sildenafil (ViagraTM) that inhibits the metabolism of cGMP to prolong the effects of the erection. Serotonin’s role in sexual function is that of constriction of smooth muscles in the genitals, and peripheral nerve function. Epinephrine appears to be involved in maintaining the penis in a flaccid state. This raises the rate and force of the muscle’s contractions during sexual activity.

On the other hand, in women, epinephrine has been verified to increase vaginal pulse amplitude. Norepinephrine is another neurotransmitter that mediates chemical communication in the sympathetic nervous system, a branch of the autonomic nervous system. Like other neurotransmitters, it is discharged at synaptic nerve endings to transmit the signal from a nerve cell to other cells. Levels in the brain of neropinephrine vary in accordance to sexual arousal. They escalate considerably with arousal and sexual activity in men and in women.

Hormone levels are also included in sexual activity. In males, testosterone levels remain in many instances above the threshold required for sexual interest and activity. Thus increasing testosterone above this threshold are believed to have additional effects on sexual interest or behavior. Fascinatingly, estrogen(the “female hormone”) seems to have little impact on sexual desire on either males or females. Estrogen deficient women, however, may result in decreased genital lubrication a result of the thinning of the vaginal epithelium. Each one of the factors can impair both the physiological and psychological aspects of sexual arousal.

Additional hormonal influences in sexual function include oxytocin, cortisol, pheromones, and prolactin. There is some evidence showing that oxytocin (produced by dopamine) levels increase during sexual arousal and orgasm in both men and women. Also the combination of oxytocin and female hormones like estrogen in women, encourage an emotional attachment with a lover. In men, the bonding effect is muted, as a result of the male’s higher testosterone levels.

All of these factors come into play regarding why women have a much more difficult time achieving orgasm and why men can attain it so quickly. If women could get to a place where the emotional and mental issues are working in conjunction with their hormones, then they too could achieve orgasms as quickly as men can.



by Kali DuBois

Virgo and Sacred Sexuality

Traditional astrology has shown us Virgo images of a sexless old maid school teacher with her legs crossed contrasted with a licentious “profane” prostitute, downtrodden and victimized. The common idea of Virgo is that of a virgin, a sexless person, however, the original meaning of the word virgin has been lost. In Latin, ‘virgo’ simply means unmarried, while ‘virgo intacta’ refers to the lack of sexual experience. To say that Virgo is virginal simply means that she belongs to no man, that she cannot be possessed. Her sexual acts are not used to obtain possession, security, or power. She does not need a man to give her a sense of identity, rather, that is found within herself and her identification with the goddess. And a major attribute of the goddess was divine sexuality. Hence a woman could make love with a man for their mutual upliftment, not for bonding.

As Stephen Arroyo once said at a conference I attended, “After all, Virgo is an earth sign.” Earth signs are sensual, grounded, of the body. The difference for Virgo is that sex must serve a higher purpose. As Virgo sifts the wheat, separating the chaff from the lifegiving grain, so it sifts its human relations so that they must be lifegiving. Virgo sexuality must be dedicated to something higher than itself. It must be for the sacred, dedicated to the goddess principle. What we have lost is the image of the strong woman standing proud in her sexuality, using it to serve the divine by sharing it and its bounty with others, teaching through her bliss and ecstasy. When this image is lost to us as a culture, many are lost as to their own definition of themselves, and it hurts us all by limiting our perceptions of our own sexuality and its higher purpose.

The great goddess in her bounty, bestowing life, love, bliss, including sexual pleasure, is an image that has survived all attempts to tarnish it even if it has had to go underground to do so. Virgo embodies this image of sacred sexuality and will become stronger by reclaiming it. The sacred prostitute archetype is one of sexual strength and healing, not the sexually crippled image of Virgo some of us have been given. Virgo is not the split between the madonna or the whore, Virgo is the integration of the madonna and the whore, and thus holds a key for all of us as we strive to integrate the many and varied parts of our Self.

© 2010 Catherine Auman



by Catherine Auman

Aphrodisiac Recipes For Males to Enhance Libido and Sexual Potency

Aphrodisiacs are foods that help to enhance sexual potency. These foods not only boost libido but also improves overall health and wellness. In this article you will find some of the aphrodisiac recipes which can keep you sexually active and potent.

1. Isabgol is available in two forms – in the husk form which is white, and the whole form which is blackish brown. Take whole Isabgol and divest it of all the foreign matters. Now, take a glassful of hot milk and mix about 10-15 grams (2 to 3 teaspoons) in the milk, but don’t let the isabgol form into small balls, rather shake it well in the milk. When it has got fully mixed up with milk, it should be sipped and not gulped. It is claimed that if a person takes this mixture daily at night, his semen will thicken, sperms will multiply in count, orgasm will prolong and problem of premature ejaculation would disappear, but the experiment should be continued for at least 40 days or so.

2. Dates have high percentage of sugar; hence diabetics should not use them. When dates are dried, they are called chhoaras. Boil 4-6 dates (fresh or dried) in milk and when they soften, eat them and drink the milk also. It is a very powerful drink which, if used during winter season, will prove to be an aphrodisiac of high value, as it enhances sexual power and arouses sensuality. Dates with milk can be taken in the morning, before and/or after coitus. If taken before coitus, it will provide impetus to sex power, if taken after coitus, it will remove any sense of weakness felt after ejaculation. If taken in the morning, it stores plenty of energy in the body to enjoy sex. So, in whichever form or at whichever time it is taken, it will always exerts beneficial effect on you.

3. Asparagus (shatavari) should be pounded and reduced to a fine powder. Take one teaspoonful with hot milk, at least 2 hours prior to coitus. It will cause immense erection, impart strength to the male organ, delay ejaculation, and enhance sexual pleasure. It should be used with caution, as it is capable to excite libido to extreme heights and, if taken during daytime, erection often results.

4. Take equal quantity of roasted black grams; add almonds and equal quantity of dried grapes (munakka) after removing the seeds. Take two tablespoons daily with hot milk to control premature ejaculation, lack of sex power, or power to hold on for longer duration. It imparts virility, removes to hold on for longer duration. It imparts virility, removes impotence. It is tonic, food and aphrodisiac, but has to be taken daily. Diabetics should reduce quantity of munakka.

5. Beat an egg and vigorously shake the content. Now mix two teaspoons of honey and a teaspoon of brandy. It can give you an immediate boost to your sex power and capacity and cause instant erection. Certain persons are allergic to use of eggs or even brandy; hence they should not venture to have a try on this recipe.

Disclaimer: This article is not meant to provide health advice and is for general information only. Always seek the insights of a qualified health professional before embarking on any health program.

Copyright © Nick Mutt, All Rights Reserved. If you want to use this article on your website or in your ezine, make all the urls (links) active.



by Nick Mutt

Polarity Therapy, Healing and Sexuality

So – What do sexuality, polarity therapy and healing have in common? The immediate misconception is that our sexuality (sexual behavior, sexual thoughts, internal visual images, sexual partner preference and choice, body-concept, arousal pattern, level of desire, etc.) can be separated from who we are, how we think and what is going on physiologically in our body. The second misconception is that healing happens piecemeal, that we can “heal” or change one body part or one aspect of our mind-body-spirit without affecting every other part. Our body is a hologram, every part affects and reflects every other part. The third misconception is that healing equals perfection (perfect health, perfect relationship, perfect finances, a perfect life). Our body is a metaphor, a physical representation of our thoughts, actions and responses, revealing to us what we need to pay attention to, change or learn. I remember hearing about AIDS patients, on their deathbed, claiming that they were “healing.” They were not healing their physical bodies because they were dying. Yet they were healing something – perhaps their relationships, perhaps their accepting the love that was always there, perhaps realizing their own loving potential, or perhaps healing or letting go of their sense of control and superiority as a mere mortal being.

Touch Heals.

Touch is the first sense to develop and one of the last to fade. Touch triggers the release of endorphins, hormones that help to suppress pain and make us feel good. In fact, there is one gene in our body, ornithisnecoborulase, that is only turned on through touch.

Numerous studies about the healing effects of massage, conducted by the Touch Research Institute in Miami, Florida and other locations, by psychologist Tiffany Field, Ph.D. and her colleagues, indicate that touch lowers stress hormones and increases levels of serotonin, which is just what many anti-depression drugs do. Massaging touch (15 minutes, 3 times per week, for 5 weeks) has been shown to relieve and manage pain, improve circulation and breathing, lower heart rate and blood pressure, decrease anxiety and stress, enhance flexibility, relaxation, energy, and body awareness, elevate mood, and even improve performance of mathematical calculations. Studies at The Upledger Craniosacral Institute in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, have indicated that craniosacral therapy can help clients to heal from post traumatic stress disorder, autism, migraines, and many other physical and psychological ailments.

Sexuality Heals.

In 1994, the 14th World Congress of Sexology adopted The Declaration of Sexual Rights, which declared: “Sexual pleasure, including autoeroticism, is a source of physical, psychological, intellectual and spiritual well-being.” (WAS, 1994. The Health Benefits of Sexual Expression, White Paper. April 2003. Published by Katharine Dexter McCormick Library, Planned Parenthood Foundation of American). Regular sexual activity has been shown to reduce anxiety and stress, increase fitness and brain stimulation, lower blood pressure, relieve pain, improve sleep, enhance immunity, increase longevity, and promote peak spiritual experiences.

Normal sexual response depends on the interplay of sensual stimulation (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch) and vascular and neuromuscular activities, precipitated and mediated by hormones and neurotransmitters. Sexual attraction, desire, arousal, orgasm and tendency toward bonding result from a delicate and fragile combination of events.

Sexual desire is a mental-emotional-sensational event which may operate separately from our natural sexual functioning. In other words, our body may be able to perform sexually without our feeling desire or we may feel sexual desire without becoming

physiologically aroused.

The significant hormones in the sexual response cycle are:

Attraction, Sexual Desire and Tendency Toward Bonding

o DHEA – androgen precursor to testosterone, estrogen and pheromones which stimulates limbic arousal in men and women

o Dopamine – located in the mesolimbic “pleasure center,” presumed to enhance sexual response, bonding and monogamy

o Vasopressin – a peptide hormone, released in the brain during sexual response, increases pair bonding and aggression by males toward other males

Arousal

o Estrogen – keeps vaginal ph lower, increases number of lactobacillus (good bacteria, and increases blood flow but increased estrogen can decrease sexual desire

o Progesterone – balances estrogen so that oxytocin can be high but may also

inhibit testosterone

o Testosterone – androgen, a threshold level is needed for sexual arousal

o Choline – precursor of neurotransmitter acetylcholine, essential for memory, muscle control and cardiovascular health, it transfers the sexual arousal messages to the genital arteries and releases nitrous oxide (necessary for

penile erection and clitoral swelling

o Epinephrine and Norepinephrine – stress hormones, increase during sexual activity

Orgasm and Post-Orgasm Tendency Toward Bonding

o PEA – amphetamine-like stimulant whose levels spike at orgasm and ovulation and mediate feelings of romance and love

o Oxytocin – the cuddle hormone, spikes at orgasm leading to post orgasm inertia facilitating attraction, touch sensation and bonding

*Note – Effect increased by estrogen and yohimbine and decreased by alcohol

o Prolaction – released after orgasm to give the body a rest, it inhibits appetite as well as sexual desire, arousal and orgasm,

o Serotonins – creates relaxing, dreamy, after-sex glow and sleeping better

*Note – serotonin can inhibit release of dopamine, decreasing sexual response

Drugs that increase serotonin are associated with anorgasmia and delayed ejaculation

o Endorphins – feel good hormones, relieve pain, stimulate immune system

Healthy sexual functioning involves adequate neural signals from the central nervous system and an optimum balance within the autonomic nervous system, fluctuating between the stress response (activation of the sympathetic nervous system) and the relaxation response (activation of the parasympathetic nervous system).

Sexual arousal (vaginal lubrication and penile erection) is a neuro-vascular event mediated by the autonomic nervous system. Adequate central nervous system stimulation triggers the male erection reflex at spinal cord segments S2, S3, and S4. Adequate parasympathetic stimulation triggers the relaxation of smooth muscles and blood flow within the penis as well as female vaginal tissue engorgement and lubrication.

Orgasm and ejaculation are neuromuscular events. They require adequate central nervous system stimulation to trigger the male ejaculation reflex at multiple spinal cord levels, receptors in the skin of the penis, firing of the pudendal nerve causing compression of the penile urethra and rhythmic smooth muscle contractions and vascular constriction as well as female orgasmic response, a similar but more diffuse response that may be mediated by the vagus nerve.

Polarity Therapy Heals

Dr. Randolph Stone developed a comprehensive system of healing, Polarity Therapy, that assists us to recognize, understand and implement the healing process from the inside out and the outside in. Dr. Stone travelled the world, gathering research and information about healing. He studied theories and practices of chiropractic, naturopathy, osteopathy, homeopathy, ayurvedic, Traditional Chinese Medicine, energy healing including meridians and chakras, astrology, Vedic scriptures, ancient Hermetic philosophy, and other esoteric teachings and perspectives.

Dr. Stone saw the body with all its aches and pains and physical problems as a manifestation of our thoughts and beliefs, “As we think, so we are.” He viewed health as freely flowing, uninterrupted life energy and disease as imbalance and blockage of energetic flow. He saw our bodies and our lives, in fact the entire universe, as a hologram, interconnected and mirroring, “As above, so below; as within, so without.” Dr. Stone taught that healing occurs when the necessary changes and transformations have occurred, first in the subconscious mind and in the most subtle and least dense aspect of the energetic field and then gradually, slowly stepping down into the dense tissues of the body and its organ systems. He taught about the profound effects and psychological meanings of the five tattvas or elements (ether, air, fire, water and earth).

Dr. Stone discovered that the human energy field is affected by everything that affects our senses (touch, sight, sounds, taste and smell) as well as the ways that we move or restrict our physical bodies and the ways that we interact with our environment and everything in it (plants, animals, and people). He also emphasized the continual expansion and contraction, yin and yang, manifested cyclically throughout the universe, within our own bodies and in our interactions with the world and the people in it.

As polarity therapy practitioners we know that our hands are energy conductors, that as we touch our clients’ bodies they respond to our touch and also to our consciousness, and that our clients’ mind-body-spirit has its own intelligence and self-regulating capacity. Our clients’ systems already know what they need in order for healing to occur. As practitioners, our task is to facilitate the unfolding of this exquisite knowing.

How Can Polarity Therapy Assist Clients With Relationship and Sexual Problems?

This article began with some comments about the profoundly negative effect researchers and therapists are finding as more and more people, especially men, become compulsively attached to internet pornography. Instead of dealing with current life problems, images of scantily clad bodies temporarily pacify the angst, restless mind, insecurities and anxieties, acting as a stimulus as strong as the most addictive drugs. At the same time, relationships are being neglected and undermined. Another epidemic in this country is the use of properly prescribed prescription drugs for almost everything, from relief of pain to reducing anxiety, to alleviating restless leg syndrome. For sexual arousal difficulties, men now have a host of little pills to take in addition to such paraphernalia as a vacuum pump and papavarine injections into the penis (regardless of the man’s state of emotional and physical health, the quality of his movement or the contents of his diet). Women are being offered surgeries for vaginal vestibulitis (vaginal inflammation) and the possibility of a new pill to improve sexual desire (regardless of the functioning of her body or the dynamics of her relationships).

Polarity therapy practitioners can have a profound and life transforming effect on clients who present with sexual and relationship issues. These clients usually do not understand the holographic interconnection among their thoughts, feelings, physical activities, dietary habits, emotional state and relationships. Beginning with observation of the body, the postural presentation, the tone of voice, facial expression, muscular tension patterns as well as the emotional content of the client’s story, the polarity therapist already has some understanding of the possible underlying energetic blockages. Following his or her intuitive knowing, the polarity therapist can begin the process of touching the client and allowing the energy to unwind and flow. This process will naturally allow the pituitary gland to reinstate a balanced flow of hormones and neurotransmitters as needed.

During this process, the client may reveal some significant past life or earlier in this life emotional or physical traumas, confusions or unresolved dilemmas. The therapist can discover which tattva is most out of balance or which chakra is blocked. By listening with full attention and honest intention to assist the healing process, the therapist can engender trust and openness in the client.

Sexual issues are very personal, private and often reveal a sense of embarrassment, shame, humiliation, distortion, cognitive dissonance or complete denial. I highly recommend investing in a few consultation sessions with a certified and qualified sex therapist to get a more comprehensive understanding of the depth of a client’s issues and how they can be handled. As a polarity therapist, you can also work in conjunction with a sex therapist, providing insight into the emotional and energetic underpinnings and assisting the client to open up enough in your sessions so that he or she can bring that newly uncovered material into a psychotherapy session for greater illumination.

Sex therapists usually do not utilize touch with their clients. They may encourage their clients to do some touching homework assignments with their sexual partners in the privacy of their own bedroom, but the touch is usually focused on sensual and sexual arousal. The touch utilized by polarity therapists has a different purpose and focus. Polarity therapists touch clients to assist the energetic flow throughout the client’s body. There is no agenda that this or that should happen. There is only touch, observation and allowing, sometimes encouraging, the energy to move and flow where it needs to go.



by Erica Goodstone, Ph.D.

Caffeine Hurts Male Sexual Health

People all over the world wake up to the smell of fresh coffee enticing them to get up and get on their way. This is due largely to the fact that caffeine is one of the main active ingredients in coffee that can increase your energy. What most people may not realize is that coffee, tea, soda, and other caffeinated products my damage sexual health. Lets examine some of the ways that caffeinated drinks might be affecting your sexuality.

First of all, lets take a look at the way that caffeine affects the body. Upon consumption, caffeinated beverages constrict blood vessels and cause a momentary rise in blood pressure. If you are healthy, this rise in blood pressure will soon wear off and you will be back to normal. Regular coffee and tea drinkers may not experience this as they have built up a tolerance. Caffeinated drinks can also stimulate the central nervous system causing a sudden spike in energy and alertness.

None of this sounds that bad at all, but with heavy use, caffeine users can experience gastrointestinal upset, loss or disruption of sleep, and anxiety. All of these factors will cause an increase in the risks for sexual disorder. If you can’t sleep, then your body will be tired and sluggish making it extremely difficult for you to get an erection and keep it long enough to have a positive sexual interaction.

The anxiety caused by heavy caffeinated consumption can also lead to a psychological form of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. When you do not have full control of your faculties like your emotions, it makes it very difficult to attain a level of satisfactory sexual performance.

The constriction of blood vessels mentioned above also makes it difficult for the heart to get blood to the penis; a necessary action for erectile function and control. Drinking caffeinated beverages might be making it hard to get an erection.

There have been some scientific studies with diabetic rats who were given caffeine and monitored for erectile dysfunction. The rats that were caffeinated showed a positive correlation to erectile dysfunction. There are no studies to date that prove that caffeinated products cause sexual problems, but the fact that the blood vessels are restricted upon consumption tells us that caffeine can impair your sexual performance.

Ask your doctor about your caffeine intake. Maybe your sex health is depending on our coffee consumption, and if it is, you should try limiting your intake and watch for results.



by Paul A Buchanan

Sacred Sexuality in Your Astrological Chart

For some of my clients, sacred sexuality is a new concept, at least on the conscious level. On a soul level they might have a vision that a deeper approach to lovemaking exists… or they may long for a way to integrate their sexuality with their spirituality. Without knowledge of the paradigm of sacred sexuality, though, they usually lack a context or container to support or hold their vision.

Part of my job as a Vedic & Western astrologer and Spiritual counselor has been to reveal how this “new” paradigm of sacred sexuality manifests through the clients’ astrological chart. Whether they are gay, straight, bi or trans-gendered, when they hear about the “new” paradigm there is often an immediate recognition and an audible sign of relief!

After working with thousands of astrology and counseling clients, I’ve found that certain planetary aspects in the chart (whether Vedic or Western) indicate an interest in sacred sexuality or Tantra. In traditional Western astrology, Venus and Mars are the primary indicators of sexuality. Experimentation with alternative forms of sexuality is often seen with challenging aspects between Venus and Mars (the square, opposition, inconjunct, etc.) These aspects are often found in charts of people who either question their sexual orientation or who are in the process of finding their unique balance of male and female energies.

To see the deeper aspects of sacred sexuality in the chart, I usually look to the transpersonal planets (primarily Uranus and Neptune) and their connections with the personal planets (primarily Venus & Mars). Since Uranus represents universal energy (sometimes called prana, chi or kundalini), aspects between Uranus and Venus or Mars indicate individuals who are learning how to channel kundalini energy. Venus/Uranus aspects in particular are extremely common in people who are interested in sacred sexuality, or energy healers who are channeling kundalini energy (Uranus) through their hearts (Venus) and hands. Venus/Uranus aspects can also indicate an interest in a variety of alternative sexual expressions (bi-sexuality, homosexuality, polyamory, etc.)

Mars/Uranus aspects are indicative of individuals who are also learning to master the kundalini energy so they can be catalysts for their own and other’s evolution. Most importantly, they are learning to ground the kundalini energy so they can be fully present in the moment, a distinct challenge for both Uranus types! When the kundalini is not grounded in the Mars/Uranus individual, it can create a variety of issues including extreme impatience, ADD or ADHD-like symptoms and the inability to be in the present. When the Mars/Uranus energy is balance it creates an ability to be totally present to all that is occurring in the moment.

Venus/Uranus and Mars/Uranus aspects also indicate extreme needs for freedom and individual expression, which sometimes can create havoc in relationships. This is particularly true if the individuals are trying to conform to what mainstream society sees as “normal” forms of relationship. Both types tend to be willing to rebel against cultural norms if it means they can express their sexual needs more honestly and uniquely.

It’s ironic that both Venus/Uranus and Mars/Uranus types also often have aspects that indicate extreme needs for oneness and merging as well! (particularly Moon/Neptune and Venus/Neptune aspects). Without the context of sacred sexuality, these needs can sometimes seem to be mutually exclusive and un-attainable. That is why it is so empowering for clients when they discover that within the context of sacred sexuality they can truly have it all!

Venus/Neptune aspects in a chart are indicators that the individual is learning to be an agent or vessel of unconditional love. These aspects create strong idealism in love relationships where love is seen as a high spiritual expression. If Venus/Neptune combines with Saturn, there is often past life recollections of sacrificing one’s personal needs for the divine (think: priestess, nun, monk, etc.) Sometimes Venus/Neptune individuals would rather be alone than sacrifice their vision of high relationship. Although, Venus/Neptune aspects can create disillusionment in relationship, they can also create rarefied expressions of Divine love. In Vedic Astrology, you can see these same themes with Venus conjoining or being aspected by the mystical lunar nodes, Rahu & Ketu.

Mars/Neptune aspects are the penultimate indicators of the desire to surrender the personal sense of “I” to transpersonal or Divine will. The individual with Mars/Neptune aspects may be confused about who they are surrendering their will too. They may also express this confusion through sexual fantasy and seduction (think: Bill Clinton!) On a higher level, there is an urge to surrender, to let go of control and merge with the “other.” This can also show up as a desire or longing for true sacred Union with the Beloved.

One of the strongest aspects that I often find in charts of clients that are interested in sacred sexuality are strong conjunctions or close aspects between the Moon and Neptune. In this case the longing (Moon) for oneness and unity (Neptune) with the Beloved is the underlying theme of the whole chart. Although many Moon/Neptune individuals experience the “lower” manifestation of Moon/Neptune aspects (co-dependence, unhealthy merging, psychic sponge, etc), when they discover Tantra, they actually have a head start on oneness. Since their boundaries have often been more fluid than others, they’ve been practicing oneness, in one way or another, for all of their lives!

Through astrology, both Vedic & Western, we can discover and clarify how we are connected to transpersonal energies and how we can integrate the energies of the transpersonal planets into our daily lives. It is not necessarily an easy task as the transpersonal planets ask us to stretch and grow in new directions. When we do rise to the challenge, though, we are rewarded with rich, multi-dimensional experiences. Opening to the flow and energy of the transpersonal planets is truly a way of experiencing the Divine while being fully embodied in the physical form.



by James Jarvis

Sex Quote – The Tragedy of Sexual Intercourse Is the Perpetual Virginity of the Soul

Virginity of the soul in this context means the level of innocence within us, which strongly includes our taste and ability to crave or long after some things or substances which may not really be considered as socially okay. This is a sex quote from William B. Yeate. What does he mean by this? Let’s find out.

Actually, this is so deep and inspiring and for a clearer picture and better understanding of this sex quote, we will have to critically analyze it in two sides, the side which considers the situation before sexual intercourse and the side after having sex.

A person who never had sex in his or her Life is not just a virgin in sexual status but also in the soul. What this means is that, the person has no experience and no sense of adventure. This may not be entirely true and some virgins may have watched some pornography, gone through illicit materials, engaged in pervert chats or discussions with friends. Nevertheless, it is not as adventurous as tasting the “forbidden fruit”.

Now, this virgin gets set to experience it for the first time in his or her life and then goes into it with some level of uncertainty despite how well they have known it through the factors earlier mentioned. But once the forbidden fruit has been tasted or even eaten, our Human nature then comes into play which is-we want to eat and taste more of it. A lady has confessed that ever since she had her first sex at the age of 15, she never looked back. A guy who was a virgin and in a relationship for about 4 years experienced his first sex with his girl at the age of 22. Not up to 6 months after this, he broke up with her-why? “She is not really good in bed”-his reason. There are millions of people who are in similar situations, especially teenagers and young adults.

After having an intercourse, we want to have it again and we hoped and wish the next time should be better, more adventurous and pleasurable than the previous. We do not just stop on the basis of wishes and hopes but rather work towards ensuring the next would be better. All these actions bring down the level of innocence we possess within us and hence eat up the virginity of the soul. The more we crave or try to make the next better, the more we make the soul wild (for the married) or corrupt (for the singles). And no wonder, sexual intercourse in our present generation has been abused. People do not find satisfaction in having sex with the opposite gender anymore. They have gone far to have it with same gender and to some this is not even enough. They have craved for pleasure from animals-having sex with dogs and horses, all in the quest to find the zenith of pleasure and hence corrupting the soul.

Well, in order to clear all possible subjects of arguments, such an attribute affecting the soul is a tragedy to both the married and single. The main factor of any variable here should be the individuals. Well, a married man may be tired of the satisfaction he gets from his wife and begin sleeping with his next door neighbor’s wife to get the satisfaction he feels he has not enjoyed. His wife on the other hand can go for an animal. So, no one is exempted in this. But even as the soul gets more and more wild after every sexual intercourse, we should do our best not to make it a tragedy but rather channel it to better enjoy sex the way it ought to be enjoyed.



by Funom Makama

Sexual Self-Sufficiency Through Autofellatio and Autocunnilingus

Most people, especially in these trying economic times, are realizing the importance of living a self-sufficient life. This type of lifestyle allows one to live on their own, as they see fit, and take care of themselves in every conceivable fashion (by themselves). It’s a way for people to disconnect themselves from the tempestuous world we live in that seems to be filled with more lies, corruption, and greed every day.

The entire concept of being self-sufficient is another way of expressing/having Independence and Freedom.

When one gets properly self-sufficiently established, their lives are typically permeated by feelings of peace. One realizes that it is up to them, and only them, to be reliant on survival and creating an environment where they can rest happily, content, and safely. The greatest part is leaving the rest of the corruption, politics, and senseless garbage behind them.

I had a friend I went to high school with who went off to college. I spoke to him a few months later and he had something quite revealing to say. He stated that, in college, that he had to learn to take care of himself. He said that if he wanted to wear clean clothes, then he had to take the time out to wash them. If he didn’t wash them, then he only had dirty clothes to wear. If he wanted something to eat, he had to plan ahead and purchase food and then prepare to cook it if he wanted to eat. The next lesson he learned was that if he didn’t bother to clean the dishes after his last meal, that he had nothing clean to eat off of. If he didn’t pay the electric bill, then they would turn off his electricity…

It was an incredible awakening for him, as he had moved out of his family’s house to live on his own. He hadn’t realized how protected and cared for he was until he had to do it on his own. He realized that he had taken for granted all of the things that were provided to him by his parents. Now that he was on his own, with only himself to accept responsibility or blame for whatever occurred in his life, he was awakened by the smell of reality.

(I’ve often wondered if this isn’t one of the best lessons that universities, indirectly, really teach.)

Acquiring self-sufficiency takes on many methods and meanings. Some people want to have enough money that they can have the freedom to do what they want, whenever they want. This is surely a form of a sufficiency that offers comfort and freedom that most people desire. Just imagine winning the lottery and realizing that you don’t have to go to work tomorrow morning, if you don’t feel like it; and, if you so desire, you can walk into the office of your boss and quote the title of a song made famous by Johnny Paycheck. You know, the one where you tell your boss where to insert your job. If Country music isn’t your style, the Dead Kennedy’s did a more intensive cover of this song. Or if movies are your thing, the movie, of the same title, was released in 1981.

Sexuality can also become a form of self-sufficiency, too. The act of autofellatio is whereby a man can orally stimulate his own penis; where for women the similar act is called autocunnilingus. These abilities are simply extensions and creative forms of masturbation. However, with these “auto” techniques, one is able to explore and evoke pleasures that are hardly available with more conventional means of masturbation. This is what makes them special.

Learning these methods is certainly a way for people to become truly self-reliant in the sexual field. Allowing them to create a sexual independence or a sexual freedom, if they so desire. It’s one other tool for the toolbox of the individual who wants to realize autonomy.

Good luck.

Exploring unconventional methods of sexuality; methods that our ancestors enjoyed and impassioned themselves with, is one of my interests. Those men and women who are interested in autofellatio should read Yogafellatio. It is a book that helps guide men down this sexually exciting and interesting path.



by Kimi Kalfino