Who ARE the men and women risking it all for extra-marital fun? As Ashley Madison faces security breach, FEMAIL signs up to the controversial dating site to find out

As hackers threaten to reveal customer data from adultery website Ashley Madison, many users are racing to delete their accounts.

But for many of the married men and women signed up to the controversial site – which boasts one million users in the UK alone – it is business as usual, with their online profiles still intact.

FEMAIL registered its own account to see just what kind of man is willing to risk everything for an extra-marital affair – and why.

Browsing the list of ‘available’ men, it is perhaps surprising to see how many of the profile pictures are unedited close-ups.


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The adultery site Ashley Madison is for men and women who are looking for an extra-marital affair without their partners’ knowledge

After all, as users are informed when you register your details, you are far more likely to elicit a response if you post a picture of yourself. And the more candid the better.

The men stare brazenly into the camera, seemingly unconcerned that someone might recognise them and inform their other halves.

Others photographs are fuzzy and out of focus, or teasingly zoomed in on one feature – a pouty mouth or a hint of chiselled jaw. Meanwhile a few are wearing masks, either real of animated, like those found at a masquerade ball.

The profiles themselves are equally revealing. A 38-year-old attached man from London sets his limits as: Whatever Excites Me.

Detailing what he is looking for, he includes: submission, blindfolding, Tantric Sex, role-playing, threesomes and erotic movies.

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The Pisces man pleads for someone who is ‘good with your hands, open to experimentation’, and ‘likes to give oral sex’.

He says: ‘You only live once make the most out of it. Some love me, some hate me, but no one knows who I truly am.

‘That’s because I like to be a bit of mystery. Why don’t you come try solve this mystery? I promise you there’s a pretty sweet reward for doing so.’

He seems to acknowledge the moral debate surrounding the site, which promotes infidelity, when he says: ‘This may seem odd on site like this but I’m a very caring guy. Your pleasure is just important as mine.’

The discreet site – which has one million users in the UK – is now facing a security breach from hackers

He continued by promising he would never leave a girl ‘unsatisfied’ and would make sure she gets what she deserves.

Under the category ‘what really turns me on’, he asks for a ‘disease free’ woman with a high sex drive and a secret love nest – who also has a ‘good sense of humour’.

Meanwhile a 40-year-old Indian man from London is looking for ‘someone I can teach’, who likes experimenting with sex toys and ‘bubble bath for 2’.

The 6ft 4ins attached male adds: ‘I’m a super nice, gentle guy with a relaxed style but looking for someone special to enjoy intimate time with…’

Another attached user, a 27-year-old music lover from London, openly admits he is not fulfilled in his current relationship.

He says: ‘Current relationship lacks that spark – looking for a discreet fantasy…’

The ‘muscular’ man, who speaks three languages, lists many encounters he is open too, including dressing up; lingerie, sharing fantasies, spanking and sex talk.

His preferences include a professional woman who is ‘well-groomed’, has ‘natural breasts’ and ‘good personal hygiene’.

He adds: ‘Seeking the girl next door type – who’s a freak in the sheets. Wicked desires only need apply.

‘A bad bad dirty talkin’ lady who can hold a conversation, who’s not afraid of making herself the subject of a joke.’

He also asks for someone who is ‘down for anything’ –  a ‘coffee’ or late-night meets’ and reiterates that ‘discretion is a must!’.

Additionally a 42-year-old ‘fit’ male from Surrey sets his limits at ‘anything goes’ and states that he is into exhibitionism and ‘likes to be watched’.

The 6ft Sagittarius says: ‘Just looking for some discreet and intimate fun to spice this life up. No hassles, just pleasure.’

In their profiles, many users detail what they are looking for in an affair and their sexual fantasies 

Under the category, what I am looking for, he continues: ‘Daring Rendezvous. A like-minded soul. Dirty and intelligent mind in a clean and needy body :-).’

A 39-year-old African American is also reasonably upfront about the difficulties he faces in his marriage.

He says: ‘I am a busy professional working long hours and hardly get time to connect with my equally busy spouse.

The Aries, who is ‘undecided about his limits’, even offers a financial reward as an incentive, adding: ‘I am looking for someone who is willing to offer good companionship for 2 hours a week in return for a financial gift. The ideal lady will be attractive and with a place not too far from central London. Is that too much to ask? :-)’

A 46-year-old man who works in media in London describes himself as ‘sexually dominant’ and promises to ‘take control with the right woman. But of course only in a safe, sane and consensual way’.

He sells himself as having ‘a dry sense of humour’ and the ability to ‘converse intelligently and playfull’,.

Despite having a ‘strong sex drive’, he adds: ‘That’s not the only thing on my (broad) mind.’

He says: ‘I am like all the best things – addictive and bad for you. I know what I want and usually get it, but I love the challenge of achieving my desires and testing my limits.

Signing off, the ‘creative and imaginative alpha male’, asks interested parties to drop him a line and ‘let’s see if we click’.

Ashley Madison, founded in 2001, also includes profiles of single men, who are presumably looking for some no-strings fun without the worry of commitment.

Many attached and unattached women have also created a profile in the hunt for some illicit excitement.

Noel Biderman (pictured) is the CEO of Avid Life Media, who owns the site geared toward married individuals looking for an affair

A ‘curvy’ 33-year-old woman from London has posted the welcome message: ‘Can we skip to the good bit..?’

The attached female is looking for a guy who is ‘smart, charming, hilarious and doesn’t take things too seriously’.

She says: ‘I won’t waste your time. So please don’t waste mine. I have a high pressure job and my down time is important to me.’ 

Describing herself as ‘an independent, sharp, feminine, down to earth yet sassy woman’, she continues: ‘Assertiveness and an open mind is a must. Taller than me and you should know what moisturiser is! I am not looking for a push over, nor interested in spanking you…’

Meanwhile a  38-year-old from Brentwood, Essex admits the spark has gone out of her marriage.

She says: ‘I’m married and happy but the passion has long gone. We are now just friends.’

The wife, who describes herself as ‘shapely toned’, says she likes good conversation, meals out and champagne. 

She is looking for someone within a 20-mile radius with free time ‘for exciting mutually exhilarating encounters!’

She adds that she would like ‘exciting romance, passion,’flirtation and The REST’.

A 45-year-old attached woman from Edgware, Hertfordshire has set her welcome message to read: ‘
Oh well, what is there to lose.’

The 5ft 4ins attached female is looking for a ‘tall, dark and handsome’ ‘Don Juan’ and a ‘hopeless romantic’ to enjoy ‘candle lit dinners’ and ‘long drives’ with.

She says she is hoping to find that ‘something important missing’. 

A upfront advertisement for Ashley Madison, which was founded in 2001, with the slogan ‘Life is short. Have an affair’

While a 40-year-old Scorpio from London specifies she would like to meet one man for an affair. 

She writes: ‘I need both a mental and physical connection. Brains and stimulating conversation are as important as chemistry as I would prefer a longer term affair – with someone like-minded.’

The size 6-8 blonde says she doesn’t want men to buy her underwear (‘I can buy my own’) and  adds: ‘All your own hair please if that doesn’t sound too superficial.’

She continues: ‘If you are not tall or dark or any of the above please don’t waste my time or your money by sending me your photos or messages. I am looking for men who are 38 – 52 in age, no kids thanks, I am not Mrs Robinson.’

A single Australian woman, aged 30, and living in London, says she is open to ‘sensual massage’ and spanking’.

She continues: ‘Looking to meet interesting guys without drama or complication. I just want to enjoy life and have some fun without the need of attachment. I’m easy going and very discreet.’

Joining the site is free for women and men, although a 99p charge per day will bump you up to the top of the search results. It has numerous options for members to send custom mail messages, initiate chat sessions, send priority messages and virtual gifts.

Those who are often on the road are also encouraged to join with the ?Travelling Man? and ?Travelling woman? option for those who want to browse while on the go.

The site even includes a panic setting that allows users to immediately flick to a neutral site – a potentially useful feature if a user’s spouse or partner suddenly walks into the room.

The sleek-looking site, which claims to have 37 million users in 50 countries, is known for its advertising slogan ‘Life is short. Have an affair’.

It allows married people interested in having an affair to access the profiles of other members who specify what they?re looking for, such as, ?cyber affair/erotic chat, whatever excites me, anything goes or undecided.? 

But now the secrets the business relies on – the names and contact details of clients who have used the site to arrange affairs they thought would be hidden forever, and even nude photos – could be made public.

The team of hackers – which calls itself the Impact Team – claims it has stolen the real names and addresses of many of its members, even those who have already left and asked for their accounts to be deleted.

The group, which says it is morally motivated, is threatening to publish the details unless the site is closed down by owner Canada-based Avid Life Media.

The site’s reliance on secrecy is what has made the hack so potentially damaging. 

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